The Not-So-Super Smack Down!
Well Craig, we have a delightful match up this week, it's a battle between two superheros! While most people would expect a Superman vs Batman or a Spiderman vs Wolverine we here at Monday Morning Fight Club strive to concoct a more refined duel. And with that in mind we have thrown together... The Whizzer vs. The Red Tornado!
Well Craig, I'll have to go with the Whizzer on this one, just look at him! It takes a lot of confidence to be out patrolling the steets in that all-yellow ensemble! The Whizzer's super power is a classic favorite; super-speed! He got his powers whilst traveling in exotic Africa , where he was bitten by a cobra and given a transfusion of Mongoose Blood(WTF!!!) to survive! He returns home, decides to fight crime, marries Miss America (USA!USA!USA!) and joins the super group....wait for it..."All-Winners-Squad" (not made up). A resume like that makes me belive I'm baking a winner!
Well Jordan you certainly have picked a piece of shit for this battle. I too, though, have a lovely turd served up on my platter, and his name is the Red Tornado. Fucking gay ass android built by none other than super bad guy T.O.Morrow. Yes, indeed, I'm sure you are wondering as much as me, who the fuck comes up with these shitty plots and characters. As turdalicious as he might seem on the outside with his red spandex suit and st-ut-te-ry ro-bo-t voice Red Tornado can lay a serious beating on any unlucky hero who happens to meet him in a dark alley, or anywhere else for that matter. With super speed the equivalent of Superman's and super strength the equivalent of Wonder Woman's he can hand out an ass whooping when his androidhood is called into question. The Whizzer should be preparing to eat his own stool just about now.Be sure to vote this week! Even if all you base you vote on is the guys name or appearance!
Well Craig and Jordan have reached far into the depths of the super-hero toilet for this battle. These two have definite potential to hit the Retard category. I am by no means a comic junky, so it's not surprising these huge douche bags have never come across my path. I do however feel inclined to toss my vote as I am having a hard time controling my laughter at the stupid name The Whizzer. It's along the same theory as "no matter how old a guy is, farts are funny". I am going with The Whizzer.
ReplyDeleteDarren
Sadly I have to go with the Red Tornado on this one. With a history of alchohol & depression The Whizzer is likely to drink himself into oblivion while the Red Tornado tries to figure out what version of Earth he has landed on.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the next meeting of MMFC will provide more worthy combatants!