Cartoon Kid Throw Down!

Here we are at the Cosmic Adventures on Olgilvie road. It's a dreary Thursday evening...and well, Craig I have to say I never thought it would come to this, A savage battle between two cartoon icons; Stewie Griffin and Bart Simpson! Our largest crowd to date has gathered here for what looks to be a promising and deadly show down! Bart Simpson is here and is just putting the finishing touches on an "El Barto" graffiti tag on one of the larger plastic slides. He turns as the crowd parts, allowing the diminutive Stewie Griffin to enter our make shift combat ring. Bart circles Stewie, cautiously sizing him up...and...DAMN! Stewie just shot Bart in the head with an automatic pistol! Now he is pissing right into the bullet hole!!! This is grisly!

Well Jordan that was a fast one, Stewie sure made quick work of Bart. Here comes Homer, it looks like he has been quietly sobbing to himself but is now yelling “WHY ME, WHY ME”! He’s taking something out of his pocket, maybe a Kleenex or handkerchief to help wipe away his tears. No wait, it’s a wad of bills, he is putting on some bi-focal glasses now and is carefully counting out twenties to hand over to Mr. Teeny who is looking quite please with himself. Homer is now cursing “The Boy”, I can’t make out exactly what he is saying but it sounds like a mumbly “why that,.. no good, ….should say to that bologna,…gonna owe me,…..D’oh!” Interesting. What’s this now, here comes the victor’s father, Peter Griffin, and boy does he look pleased with himself. Hold on now, this is odd, Peter just stopped short of Stewie, he’s peering into the crowd as though seeing someone familiar and uttering the words “oh crap”! It looks as though a man sized yellow chicken is crawling out of the ball pit. After momentarily staring each other down Peter and The Chicken are charging each other and an all out slug fest has begun. Peter just punched The Chicken in the throat sending him flying through some of the tubes. I’ve lost them now can you see him from where you are standing Jordan?

Luckily Craig I followed them outside and on to a bus, I think it was the #127! The fight is still raging! Peter has ripped the change/ticket stand out of the floor and is beating the chicken and the bus driver with it!, there is broken glass, bus tickets, blood, feathers, and small change everywhere! The bus seems to be on a collision course with the Perkins on St. Laurent...and seeing how it is only 4:30, it must be packed to the gills with "silver hairs"! ........That was rough! The chicken just held Peters body outside of the bus as we careened into the restaurant! That kind of beating should stop anyone but it appears that the fight is still going! From the sounds of it Peter is giving the chicken a "swirly" in the deep fryer! The chicken counters by squirting a gallon of "Whirl" into Peters eyes and he set him on Fire! Craig I hope you are close by! This fight is intense!

Jordan, it looks like Peter has thrown The Chicken through the back wall of the restaurant and is now giving him a flurry of roundhouse kicks sending him sprawling into the middle of the road. The Chicken is getting up and has just clothes lined a guy off his motorcycle and is now taking off on the semi destroyed bike. Peter who has somehow managed to obtain some old football pads, black face paint and a cherry red Mohawk wig has hot-wired what appears to be a modified rusted out Trans-Am with razor sharp blades sticking out the doors and a cow catcher from what has to be a very old train welded to the front bumper. Peter is giving chase to The Chicken; the two morons are punching and kicking each every chance they get. Both combatants have now gotten on the Queensway and The Chicken appears to be moving well out in front of Peter. Peter has just cranked the knob on a canister of Nitros and his post apocalyptic shit box has just rocketed up the road approaching The Chicken’s bike. Mini-vans and SUVs are being smashed out of the way like they are pieces of rubbish. Peter has caught up with The Chicken and has run both the motorcycle and his own vehicle off the road and into the Rideau canal. The slug fest is continuing up the canal, stank water and blood are flying everywhere. The Chicken has grabbed a dirty, greasy Carp out of the algae and weeds and is smacking Peter mercilessly across the face with it.

Craig, from here it looks to be a Pike, and all I can say is...that fish is definitely dead. Peter seems to have recovered nicely though, he just clipped the chicken with a scooter to the head! The chicken has made a break for it, he just hijacked a houseboat and Peter, wearing water wings, is in hot pursuit! The Chicken has noticed that Peter seems to be at a disadvantage! The Chicken is turning around and seems intent on running Peter down! Peter is doing his best to swim away from the Chicken but it is just a matter of time...This could be it! Wait! Whats this!!! It was a trap! Peter was dragging a sea mine behind him! If the water wasn't so nasty the Chicken might have been able to see it before it was too late! The explosion has destroyed the houseboat! It's raining shitty canal water and feathers everywhere! The Chicken is nowhere to be found! That blast has emptied the canal...Peter is standing victoriously in the center of the nasty, sloppy, muckey, mess of beaver tail wrappers and sewage.

You're a jackass, you must have turd vision because that was not a Pike that was a Carp and I'm pretty sure it swam away the second it hit the water.

But I digress. I think we spoke too soon, I see a pair of beady blood shot eyes staring up at Peter from the ass mud at the bottom of the now empy canal. Materializing out of the mud like some shit stained version of a T1000 is The Chicken. He has managed to catch Peter off guard and has landed a devistating blow to the solarplexis. Peter is one fat tough cookie though, as he finishes dry heaving and comes up for air both he and The Chicken grab each other's throats in death like grips. This surely will be the end of one of them Jordan. But wait, what is that, jumping off the roof of the Dow's Lake Pavilion, it's none other than Homer Simpson. What a spectacular feet of retardedness, he is flying through the air with the grace of a 500 lb male walrus. Folks, the magnitude of the impact is unbelievable, Homer's gut has driven Peter and The Chicken to the bottom of the muck and the recoil has launched Homer back to dry land. Homer is now pointing at the spot where Peter and The Chicken last stood and launching into some nonsensical tirade about avenging his fallen boy, but what is this, he has stopped mid-sentence to go chasing after a squirrel, "hee hee hee". I can hear his laughter from here. I think we can safely say that is a wrap Jordan.

And there you have it folks, Stewie is this weeks big winner. And special thanks to Barry for this weeks match up suggestion, enjoy the butter tarts!

Stewie Griffin vs. Bart Simpson

Hi folks and welcome to this week's edition of Monday Morning Fight Club. This week on MMFC we have two of the most recognizable faces in cartoon history, Bart Simpson and Stewie Griffin. Two classic cartoon kids in a battle for supremacy, who will end up on top, you decide.

Jordan, I have to go with Bart Simpson on this one. Not only is there a soft place in my heart for the Simpsons, but when you think about it Bart has withstood beatings not only from the likes of Kirby and Jimbo Jones, but he is also a survivor of domestic abuse. I mean, come on, how many times has Homer strangled the shit out of Bart, and "The Bartman" just walks away every time. My money is on Bart for this one! Football headed Stewie can go back to his Simpsons-wannabe show and suck it.

Craig, I have to strongly disagree with you on this one. Stewie is a genius and has been known to wield death rays, pilot jet fighters, and build time machines! Where as Bart is a mildly retarded smart ass. Bart may be a jerk, but Stewie is sadistic and evil! I'll be surprised if Bart lives long enough to say "don't have a cow man" or "eat my shorts"!

Super-Zero Battle Play by Play

Hi folks, welcome to this weeks Craptacular Super Zero Battle. Thanks for joining us here at Orleans' very own rendition of Sunnyvale Trailer Park, yes that's right, Terra Nova Estates. Please give it up for the ass stain of Orleans. Speaking of shit stains, here come our two contestants. In one corner we have the (hee hee) Whizzer, and in the other corner we The Red Tornado. Yellow turd versus red turd, beautiful this should be an instant classic. The Whizzer is starting to hum and vibrate and there seems to be a growing dust cloud around Red Tornado's feet. Jordan I think they are about to throw down.

Hell yes Craig! and about time too, it seems that the residents of this "community" are getting restless and throwing bottles at both contestants. Oooo, that bottle of baby duck came awful close to Whizzers head! Red Tornado is making his move...I guess, I mean it's hard to tell when you can't see his legs and he is making that annoying wind noise, over and over. Oh there it is, the Red Tostito has unleash the full fury of a moderate breeze directly at the Whizzer, who has zipped over to Piggys to get some refreshments, looks to be a colossal tub of Mountain dew and Cola "swamp water". Craig it seems that moderate breeze is doing quite a lot of damage to the surrounding "homes". Do you think we are safe here?

Jordan, I think we are safe from the breeze, but I'm still not sure about the home owners, they could be trouble. I can't help but think that Red Tornado had a hand in selecting the battleground this week. I mean we are in one of Ottawa's only trailer parks with a being who can create tornados. It is a marriage destined to be. Yes and here we go, Red Tornado is now picking up random trailers and tossing them at the Whizzer. Good thing he is a fast little bitch and can easily out run the flying pieces of trash. Red Tornado is growing more and more frustrated at his inability to hit the little speedster and is now destroying trailers and vehicles at random. Ooooo, did you see that? Two poor white trash turds were beside their rusted out Airstreams comparing tribal tattoos and walking their pitbulls when they were clipped by a flying '95 Honda Civic Hatchback. Luckily the 3 foot high triple spoiler only took out their leather and mesh baseball caps. That was a close one.

Indeed Craig, Indeed. It seems that the Red robot is getting extremely frustrated now, most likely due to the fact that the Whizzer zipped in behind him, slapped his tornado-y ass and has apparently urinated on him...I guess that's why they call him the Whizzer....and now that detour to Piggys for the Swamp Water is starting to make sense...he had to load up! It's a crazy world Craig, crazy world. It looks like the golden shower has soaked into the robots fancy red and yellow duds and is causing him to short circuit, electricity is arching everywhere!...nigh invulnerable my ass! This just got real Craig, the now messed up Red Tornado is creating a super sized twister that has completely decimated the few remaining traillers in the park! The Whizzer can't out run this mess, double-wides, chevettes, mullets, and random livestock are flying everywhere. Ouch! The Whizzer just caught a grow-opp trailer right in the head! he is down!...well as down as you can be when you are being whipped around by a red and yellow piss covered tornado generating robot...and now the Red Tornado has exploded for good measure! Good times!

Well there you have it folks...by far to worst match up we've ever made you read...thats what you get when you don't vote! Stay tuned next week when we tackle our first ever fan submitted match up!

The Not-So-Super Smack Down!

Well Craig, we have a delightful match up this week, it's a battle between two superheros! While most people would expect a Superman vs Batman or a Spiderman vs Wolverine we here at Monday Morning Fight Club strive to concoct a more refined duel. And with that in mind we have thrown together... The Whizzer vs. The Red Tornado!

Well Craig, I'll have to go with the Whizzer on this one, just look at him! It takes a lot of confidence to be out patrolling the steets in that all-yellow ensemble! The Whizzer's super power is a classic favorite; super-speed! He got his powers whilst traveling in exotic Africa , where he was bitten by a cobra and given a transfusion of Mongoose Blood(WTF!!!) to survive! He returns home, decides to fight crime, marries Miss America (USA!USA!USA!) and joins the super group....wait for it..."All-Winners-Squad" (not made up). A resume like that makes me belive I'm baking a winner!

Well Jordan you certainly have picked a piece of shit for this battle. I too, though, have a lovely turd served up on my platter, and his name is the Red Tornado. Fucking gay ass android built by none other than super bad guy T.O.Morrow. Yes, indeed, I'm sure you are wondering as much as me, who the fuck comes up with these shitty plots and characters. As turdalicious as he might seem on the outside with his red spandex suit and st-ut-te-ry ro-bo-t voice Red Tornado can lay a serious beating on any unlucky hero who happens to meet him in a dark alley, or anywhere else for that matter. With super speed the equivalent of Superman's and super strength the equivalent of Wonder Woman's he can hand out an ass whooping when his androidhood is called into question. The Whizzer should be preparing to eat his own stool just about now.

Be sure to vote this week! Even if all you base you vote on is the guys name or appearance!

The Biggest Play by Play Ever

Well Craig, I have been looking forward to this match up all week! Two of my childhood favorites are set to square off right here in Ottawa! The police have evacuated most of the important so and so's from the downtown core and we appear to be all set. We are just waiting on the arrival of our two combatants. Luckily for us, we managed to get an unobstructed view from the Sea King helicopter on loan to us from the Canadian Forces! I hear the music! This is it! Godzilla is making his way up the Ottawa river, he appears to be caked in Peitre Island mud...the stink is visible! rumor has it he laid waste to Thurso on his way here...and nobody noticed (rim shot!). Any sign of Ultraman or should I say Shin Hayata.

Jordan, I haven't seen Ultraman yet, but holy shit does Godzilla stink. I hope he didn't ingest any of that Petrie Island mud or else we are going to have one hell of a mess on our hands. Oh, hold on there's Ultraman down at the foot of the Rideau Canal locks. The little space ninja is growing right before my eyes, and I'm not talking about my dick here folks. The combatants have made eye contact and Godzilla is not wasting any time blasting Ultraman with a huge bolt of atomic breath. Ultraman has been sent flying through the Bytown Museum and has landed on the War Memorial. Godzilla is climing out of the canal to give chase. What the heck is that on his foot Jordan. From here is looks like a moldy yellow bus with "Lady Duck" written on the side. OOOooooo that's not good. Godzilla and Ultraman are on a rampage, the War Memorial is toast and they have also destroyed Parliment and the Bytown Market. This is mass destruction!!

Indeed! It seems our two foes have run out of landmarks to smash! Come to think of it Ottawa is a horrible city for these guys to let loose in. Godzilla just let off another blast of thermo-nuclear breath...hitting nothing in particular...Ultraman is still busy striking intimidating space ninja poses, occasionally firing off random bolts of energy...also hitting nothing. Ultraman is really cutting this close, he is on the clock as Ultraman and if I remember correctly, when he runs out of stored up solar-juice, he shrinks back down to "Shin size" and Big "G" will be scrapping him of the bottom of his feet.

What the hell was that horrendous gurgling sound Jordan? Holy crap, here it comes dude. Godzilla is holding his stomach and he does not look good. My guess, Petri Island mud doing it's thing. Yup, indeed, Godzilla has just shat all over the squigee kids that were smoking dope on the Rideau Center roof garden. Ooooo and here comes the second blast, absolutely covering the pathetic artsies crying over their smashed National Gallery. He's not finished folks, Godzilla is being selective this time. Yes, indeed it looks like he is positioning his ass for an extra special delivery, oooooooooo and he just ass-spray painted some poor schmuck tweeting on his Blackberry. Ultraman has been hanging back while Godzilla unloads, but now that shitfest is done he is on the move.

Ultraman just grabbed Godzilla by the tail and is spinning him around wildly, this might be it Craig! Uh-oh, Ultraman is shrinking! He is reverting back to his human alter-ego! Godzilla is loose again, but he seems to be having a hard time finding Mini-Ultraman ...Wait, what is that metal on metal noise? GODDAMN SEA KING P.O.S.! WE ARE GOING DOWN!!!!!

Craig, I have never seen anything (not made by Dodge) fall apart that fast! Its a good thing we were thrown clear on impact! Not to mention the fact that I remembered to wear my cup!

For sure Jordan, look at that I can see the inside of the Sea King and it looks like the engine was comprised mostly of Tinker Toys. Only in Canada dude. Godzilla is now spinning in circles wildly trying to find Ultraman. The big idiot has gotten himself so dizzy, he is tripping over Ottawa U. Oh, that is just typical, our shistained mega lizard has just squashed Ultraman under his gigantic green crap covered ass. Typical dude, typical.

And there you have it folks, yet another attempt at a humorous show down...tune in next week for more of the same!....or else.

Kaiju Beat Down!

This weeks match up is the largest we've ever covered here at Monday Morning Fight Club. Ultraman, solar powered, super-sized superhero faces Godzilla, king of all monsters !

Craig I have to say I am thrilled to see how this weeks battle will go down! Even though I dig the giant silver space ninja I have to side with nuclear powered lizard on this one. Godzilla just does not know how to lose. He has taken on all challengers in his epic career and keeps coming back for more! His combination of rage, determination, and thermonuclear breath beam will make short work of the brave yet soon to be dead silver giant!

I have to agree with you on this one Jordan. Godzilla will be the one handing the beat down this week. Although Ultraman does look like a chrome plated ninja, I still don't think he has the shiny metallic balls to stand toe to toe with the master of mayhem himself. Godzilla is going to pull his shitty rubber wetsuit out of the ocean and blast Ultraman back to the stoneage...actually I'm pretty sure that was a plot in one of these crap Japanese movies. If Ultraman is lucky maybe a random passing Garukadon will save his ass.

Be sure to vote, or face the consequences!

Power-tard Beat Down

Hi folks welcome to the Elmvale shopping plaza, where nothing is going on,...ever. This place is about as challenged as our contestants, who just seem to be arriving. Sloth just stepped off the short bus. He definitely stands out in a crowd with his massive cone head, and faded Superman t-shirt. Across the desolate parking lot I can see Mongo arriving on a large slow moving water buffalo, which oddly enough does not seem entirely out of place in this neighborhood. Both contestants are entering the mall now and seem to be mesmerized by the craptacular knick-knacks at the Dollar Store and the classy display of shiny pertty beer cans at the Beer Store. I really hope something gets these two gentle giants going pretty soon or all the local drop-outs are going to move on. It looks like Sloth may have forgotten a Baby Ruth on the short bus because he just ran out of the mall and back onto the bus. Mheh, what can you expect from a Power Tard.

Right you are Craig....this place is a hole! This could be the worst collection of stores to call themselves a mall in the entire western world! The only hope for this place is that the ensuing power tard fight will demolish this place in a hurry...a vacant lot would be a welcome improvement. Speaking of tards, Mongo has dis-mounted and is strolling purposefully towards Sloth..this could be it... the throw down we've been waiting for...oh, wait instant combat appears to be less immanent...Sloth is stuck in the doorway of the short bus...he appears to be calling for assistance "HEY YOU GUYS..." Well now this is interesting and a deffinate first here on Monday Mourning Fight Club...Mongo appears to be helping Sloth...Mongo is beating up the bus! Impressive!

Okay, both combatants are free of the short bus now and are going at each other. This is like watching two retarded Hulks beat on each other, it's great. OOOoooooo Sloth just threw Mongo through the front of the mall. This is incredible Jordan, then entire mall is just crumbling to the ground. It looks like the brick wall is just a veneer held up by Dollar Store popsicle sticks. Amazing. Mongo is scratching his head wondering what the hell is going on. And here comes Sloth, ouch and he just head butted Mongo into the middle of the parking lot. You would think that having a foreheard like a drive-in theatre would protect from "head butt" damage, but Sloth seems to be in a bit of pain. From here I can see his eyes blinking asynchronously (fuck big word for MMFC), I take that back Jordan, what I meant to say is his eyes be blinking like a blinking blinker.

I never would have thought this possible...Sloth and Mongo are slapping each other with car fenders from what appear to be Dodge Neons...there are a dis-proportionate number of Neons in this parking lot. Upon closer inspection none of these Neons appear to be made from their original parts! In fact some of the cars seem to be falling apart just before Mongo or Sloth get to them! Ooooo they have upgraded to throwing entire cars at eachother...this is really going well! Granted, many bystanders are being pelted by debris, but the over all mood of the crowd appears to be good! Smiles all around! There is just something about watching two, massive, seemingly invulnerable Tards pound on each other! Wait a minute! Mongo is taking objection to Sloth picking up his water buffalo....this could turn grim! Mongo has farted right into Sloths open mouth! Sloth is flipping out! He knocked Mongo down and ...OH GOD! Sloth is cramming the water buffalo into Mongo's butt! GOOD LORD! thats it the crowd is not taking this turn well, some are staring in stunned silence, others are throwing up, and still others are throwing up because they just saw someone throw up! Shut is down Craig, Shut it down! I think that image will be burned into the back of my eyes forever...or at least until next week! Kick it Craig!

Wow, and there you have it folks, yet another exciting conclusion on Monday Morning Fight Club! Those of you who voted...and we know who you are...can claim your reward from Craig next time you see him...and if you didn't vote...well you ought to be ashamed.

Power Tard Match-Up

Hi folks welcome to this weeks match-up. As always here are Monday Morning Fight Club we strive to go lower and lower below the line. To honour our policy we have brought you two of the world's premier Power Tards. In one corner we have the Baby Ruth loving Sloth and in the other corner we have the water buffalo riding, horse punching Mongo.

Jordan, as with all retards these guys have a fucked up exterior but a heart of gold. Both our combatants have the ability to achieve amazing feats of strength and could easily lay waste to anything that crosses their path. But at heart these guys are just plain good, and if that one thing crossing their paths turns out to be a baby rabbit the entire match could turn out to be a flop. Steinbeck fans would be roused to tears as both power tards vie for a chance to "pet the bunnies". On the off chance that something awakens the beast within I'm gonna have to go with Sloth. As far as I'm concerned, Sloth is the power tard of power tards. Not only did he pull a freakin' chain out of a wall, and lay the beats on his entire family, he also held up a freaking mountain to let 7 snot nose punks escape certain doom. My vote has got to go to Sloth this time around.

Craig, I agree this battle could be over before it starts! If these two dim-witted, steroid rich, man-oliths aren't properly motivated we could end up watching the super-tards pick flowers and sing to each other! I doubt you would let that happen, so in the event of a throw-down I will side with Mongo. Granted Sloth is strong, but the chain was loose when he pulled it out of the wall and as far as "holding up a mountain" he did no such thing...all he held up was a suspiciously light looking boulder. When picking a winner here he have to take their diminished mental capacities into account, and the easiest way to determine who is smarter is to ask yourself, "who did these retards choose to follow?" Sloth chose to follow Chunk the weakest link in the pre-adolescent group know as the "Goonies". Whereas Mongo, decided to follow the much more intelligent, not to mention prominent; Sheriff Bart. Besides are you forgetting that Mongo survived getting blown up, without suffering hearing loss, or even a scratch! Mongo all the way!

There it is folks! Who do you think will win this epic battle of mentally deficient super men?!? Vote! Comment! Vote&Comment!

Battle of the Stinky Midgets

They're funny because they are small, what more needs to be said. We're here at the St. Laurent Shopping Mall food court. Quite a crowd of teenage moms, coolios and poor people have gathered to watch today's match. I don't see the combatants anywhere, but I do smell that distinctive midget smell; a peculiar mix of cabbage and carnie. They have got to be close Jordan but I don't see them anywhere. Mind you the little bastards are known to be sneaky, devious and able to use their size to their advantage. Devil Spawn!!! But I digress. Oh, wait a minute I think I've spotted them up on the "balloon race" panorama. Can you confirm that from your vantage point Jordan?

So hard to tell Craig, It seems that their diminutive size and horrible fashion sense have the Hobbits blending in perfectly with the creepy balloon people. Wow! Wicket is not wasting any time! He has set the balloon diorama on fire by lobbing a series flaming lunch trays! The Balloons are down! Flaming diorama debris everywhere! Impressive! It looks like Sam is dragging Frodo from the flaming wreckage now, and it also appears that Frodo is already sobbing horrendously...typical. Wicket is like a midget bear with ADD! he is now tearing apart the sushi stand! he keeps repeating "Yub Nub" over and over and stabbing random passerbys , what can it mean? No sign yet of Willow, Craig can you see him from your vantage point at the BeaverTail stand?

Yes Jordan, I can see Willow from here, if you look closely you'll see he is actually emerging from Wicket's ass end. Hmmmm I'm guessing that passes for a costume change here on Monday Morning Fight Club. Now he's trying to find some kind of magical stick to wave around. It looks like the two hobbits have used this impromptu costume change as a chance to partake in elevensies at A&W of all places. Well that didn't take long, they've already finished up after wolfing down a few eggers and hashbrowns. God Damn, I'll give them one thing, Hobbits knows hows to eat. Crazy shit, that was fast. It looks like that energized them, they mean business now and are laying the boots, or rather the "hairy stomp feet" to Willow. Wait a second, Wicket is back on his feet and coming to Willow's rescue. Now, if that wasn't a costume change we witnessed earlier what was it? I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what these dirty little midget bitches are up to.


Indeed! Sam came out of nowhere and clubbed Wicket in the back of his leather head wrap/hood thingy...and is now dragging him back to the food court! Craig, I can't believe what I am seeing here...or rather what I am smelling...Sam seems to have jury-rigged a rotisserie over one of the fire places and put the lifeless body of Wicket on a spit! The entire food court smells like a pile of burnt-hair,wet-dog,curry-fart, and taco-meat! I had no idea that ewoks smelled that bad! Sad to see the little guy come to an end like that, becoming the headliner for Sam's second breakfast! Whats this? Damn thats hard to watch! Frodo, still sobbing, is chasing Willow around the HMV! and I don't need to tell you that watching Willow run is almost as bad as watching Harrison Ford or Danny Glover run. Gut wrenching Craig, truly gut wrenching!

Right you are Jordan, it is very hard to watch those stumpy little legs hobble down the hall. My, my, Frodo has succumb to his addiction and is putting on the "One Ring". I have a feeling the end is near for Willow. Oh lord, I can't watch this, I'm pretty sure he didn't put the ring on his finger, but rather on his...oh no!!??...what kind of ring is that again Jordan? Frodo has just gone invisible from the waist down. He seems to be kicking Willow senseless, and Willow can't fight back since he can't see the flurry of blows coming from Frodo. I guess there is method to Frodo's madness. This one is all but over friends, here comes George Lucas to collect his midget manservants and a skinny Peter Jackson seems to be trying to corral the hobbits who are quite worked up and now seem to be beating on him. Once again things are way way out of control.


And there you have it folks...another debauchel from the folks here at Monday Morning Fight Club! Tune in next Monday for yet another unlikely, but hopefully entertaining match up! And keep voting and commenting, otherwise Craig will find you...I don't know how...but he will find you!