Full on Robot Battle!
Well folks this weeks exciting match-up features two metallic masters of mayhem, two tin titans of turmoil, two mechanical monsters of mass destruction, Johnny 5 and Bender! Who will dismantle who when these robotic fiends meet in battle?!?
If this was 1988 maybe Johnny 5 might stand a chance. Guess what, it's 2009 folks and Johnny 5 is going to be taking a long hard suck on Bender's shiny metal ass. Sure Johnny 5 is equipped with some fancy weapons, but come on, he was invented by Steve Guttentard and he is way too friendly for his own good. Bender is cold blooded yo! He's going to lull Johnny 5 into a false sense of robot brotherhood and then lay a horrific drunken pounding on the big robot. Let's face it after all, Johnny 5 is just an older more challenged version of Wall-e.
I think that this battle will come down to motivation. At first I thought Johnny 5 will win this match hands down...He is a purpose-built killbot armed with a crazy ass nuclear powered laser gun, and lets not forget that treads instead of feet will always be considered badass! But he is a lover and not a fighter and unless Bender threatens to hurt/maim/kill the possibly gay guy from Police Academy, the wierd goth girl from The Breakfast Club or Fisher Stevens cashing in on outdated 80's racist sterotypes, Johnny will be too busy picking flowers to fight anyone. Bender, on the other hand, is a purpose-built bending unit and has no offensive weapons. His greatest skill, out side of mass consumption of acohol, is bending steel gurders to precise angles (it should be noted that Johnny 5 is not a steel gurder). That being said, Bender should not be under-estimated. While not armed, he has in the past demonstrated an incredible level of deviousness, cunning, self-preservation, and greed. If Bender can figure out a way to profit from Johnny 5's demise, then I have to give this fight to him. He is just that sneaky.
Be sure to vote and feel free to let us know how you think the fight will go down by leaving a comment!
Bender all the way!! Johnny 5 should just keep his retarded ass at home.
ReplyDeleteAgreed. Bender is as heartless as they can get. Johnny 5 will be too busy trying to make friends and picking flowers while Bender is dealing this hippie-bot a sound beating, or bending.
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