He-Man vs. Conan

It's a battle of the fur underwear wearing swordsmen!

Well Craig, I have to tell you that I am pretty excited for this weeks match up...I think both these idiots are long over due for a severe beating! In one corner we have He-Man,the muscle bound alter ego of Eternian super-douche Prince Adam. And in the other corner we have the wheel-of-pain pushing, lover of all things Crom...Conan! Truly a match up for the ages.

Dude I gotta give this one to Conan, this guy is a true badass. I mean, when asked what is best in life, Conan responded with "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women". This guy is all about the pounding. Don't get me wrong, Prince Adam is all about the pounding too, but a different kind of pounding if you know what I mean. The fact that he likes to get dressed up with leather and chains when he goes out with the boys speaks volumes. He-man can ride his big green furry cat straight to the reaming for all I care.

Even though these two homoerotic barbarian icons look to be

evenly matched, personally I give the edge to He-man in this fight. Conan is little more that a muscular drunk, who hates snakes and magic, hangs around Grace Jones, and at his smartest managed to memorize all three lines of "the riddle of steel". Whereas He-man rides around on a giant green tiger named "Battle Cat", has a huge and diverse posse, and chills out at Castle Greyskull (which has to be the most imposing caslte ever associated with a "good guy").