Monday Morning Fight Club

Play by Play of the Tall Hairy Showdown!

Well it looks like the big Wookie has the jump on Sas. He has managed to start the match off by sneaking up on Sasquatch's back while he was munching on twigs and berries. This one is going to be over in a hurry. Wait...what's this...holy shit, he's blown it. Chewbacca just let out a blood curdling Wookie war cry. What..an..idiot. He's given Sas time to go into a defensive stance.


Craig, I don't know if I have something in my eye or not, but I can't seem to focus on the Sasquatch...he looks like a big blurry turd....an angry turd!. And that angry, blurry turd just picked up a pretty big looking branch and is waving it around menacingly. But wait, what is Chewie doing? It looks like he's taking off his bandoleer, he must be getting down to business!. Although, now they both look like big hairy turds...just one of them is slightly out of focus! This is turning into quite the confusing battle!By the looks of it, these two giant dingle-berries are cautiously sizing each other up...eesh, one hair-pile lunged at the other and now they a grappling greco-roman style, I can't tell them apart, let alone who is winning. It seems that this battle has reached a stalemate!

Wait, what is going on here, now it looks like two hairy turds wrestling in slow motion, and all I can hear is that annoying "ch ch ch ch" sound. Ah huh now I know whats going on, look over there, here comes Steve Austin to save Samsquatch. This is turning out to be a 70s tard party. Oh my god, the 6 million dollar man just ripped off Sasquatch's arm by accident, that's gotta hurt. And there goes two more arms!! Chewie just ripped off both of Steve Austin's arms. Wow, Chewie is on a rampage now he is pulling apart that hungry hungry hippo...wait, hold on, that's Rosie O'Donnell where'd she come from?

I've got to tell you Craig, I...did...not...see...that...coming. This fight has turned into a limp pile of sweaty, hairy backs and miscellaneous mechanical parts...and there looks to be nothing left of what was once a Rosie O'Donnell. Wait...I see movement...I looks like one NBA sized hair piece is emerging victoriously from the pile! It is Chewbacca, life debt owing copilot to a Nerf herder, and winner of our first ever show down....oh wait...this is unprecedented...the Wookie is taking a dump on the spent remains of Sasquatch...quite unsportsmanlike!


Thanks for tuning in folks, be sure to check out this weeks new match up and don't forget to vote!