Monday Morning Fight Club

All Crocodile Battle!

Well folks this week we have a very special all crocodile battle planned. This hypothetical fight will pit the Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin (in his prime crocodile wrestling years) against Crocodile Dundee, Paul Hogan (did he even have "Prime years"?)!

Well Craig I'll start by saying That The Crocodile hunter was one tough bastard! After watching just a few of his exploits you get the sense that this man was fearless! Wresting giant man-eating crocs, wrangling the worlds most poisonous snakes, diving with great whites all seemed par for the course with this guy, and he did it all with a fucking smile. I mean, come on, it took a one in a bazillion shot of a sting ray stinger accidentally piercing his heart to kill the guy! I step on a piece of Lego in bare feet and I'm down for at least 20 minutes! That being said, I have seen "Crocodile Dundee" like 30 times. This guy was smooth! Dundee can hypnotize impressively large animals, take on numerous gunmen, wield a huge knife, and bring his quaint Outback sensibilities to the big city! Not to mention that he can walk across a crowd of people with ease! Plus when he is done all that he gets to nail some hot reporter....I've got to side with Dundee on this one!

Let me start off by saying that this is a great match-up, however, it would also have been interesting to see a zombified version of Steve Irwin take on Dundee. But that might have been in bad taste, and god knows, we never do anything in bad taste. Cock master! But I digress, down to business...Jordan, I cannot believe what I'm hearing. I'm astounded that you would side with Dundee on this one. I'm mean really, "nail some hot reporter". By today's standards she amounts to nothing but 80's trash. Don't get me started on Dundee either, the guys face is so wrinkely and nasty it looks like it has been pounded by more cock than Paris Hilton. Fuck him and his bullshit "Hollywood" Outback sensibilities. Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunting ma'fuck brought the real deal every fucking time, wrestling meaner looking shit than a dried up old Aussie like Paul Hogan. I say The Crocodile Hunter is gonna send Crocodile Dundee packing. Dundee is going to end up drowning his sorrows in an oversized glass of Fosters before taking one more man-cock pounding to his leathery baseball mitt face!