Blockbuster Beat-Down!
Well Craig, here we are again eagerly waiting for our fighters to arrive. A rather large crowd has gathered here at Kanata Centrum, just outside the AMC. Considering that this place is one giant parking cluster-fuck, I did not expect the turn out we have. There is a loud humming and a perfect sphere or lightning has appeared just infront of the sushi restaraunt...Its a naked John Conner, evidently coming back in time to participate in this weeks match up. He looks...well...squinty and somewhat sleep deprived...Oh whats this? That sound effect can only mean one thing...our next fighter, Spock has just beamed in and he is squating for some reason..and he looks shiny...lens flares abound! That makes two fighters, now we are just waiting on Wolverine...Wow the Best Buy just exploded...Wolverine is walking out of the flames! In slow motion! wow what an unimaginative standard action movie entrance! He looks smokey...and pissed!
Jordan, the three combatants are now facing off in a crudely formed ring in front of the AMC. The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, the only sound is the shitty 50's music they play to keep the skaters away. John Connor is stepping forward and boy does he look pissed. He's picking some kid out of the crowd and screaming at him in absolute rage. "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? The kid is now saying sorry, for what, I still don't know. "NO I DON"T WANT SORRY, I WANT YOU OFF THIS FUCKING SET? What the hell is he talking about?? "THINK FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND!! DON'T YOU THINK IT'S DISTRACTING WHEN YOU ARE WALKING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND....". John better watch out Jordan. While he's still busy raging at this poor kid it looks like Wolvie is going to take matter's into his own hands. Ouch, Wolverine just muttered "hold this bub" while crushing out his cigar on Spock's forehead. While Spock is muttering something about being "illogical" Wolverine is purposefully striding across to John Connor. John is still screaming and does not seem to notice Wolverine approaching him from the rear. Oooooo and in one fluid motion Wolverine has clawed John Connor through the back and out the chest in a vicious double fisted uppercut. That must have made John Connor soil his pants, and well shut him up too.
Right you are Craig! He straight up murdered John Conner! Humanity is fucked! The Machines will win! Spock is just standing there looking rather un-interested as Wolverine waits for something to explode...Whats this? Craig, it appears that another lightning-ball-from-the-future is materializing right inbetween our remaining combatants! Its...Its...a naked female Vulcan!!! I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING! She seems to have peeked Spocks interest! I hear the classic Trek danger music! Amazing! Spock is getting a Vulcan-Pon-Far-Bonner! Some one from the crowd has handed him a rake with a hoe duct-taped to the other end. Wolverine is still waiting for Conners body to explode!!! He does not see Spock coming!! DAMN! Spock just connected with his Hoe/Rake! If it wasn't for his unpronounceable metal skeleton, we would be calling this fight right now...But instead, Wolverine just looks pissed!
Spock ain't no fool, he knows he is in trouble now. He's scanning the crowd for a red shirt but can't find anything but a few Sens fans. He's really looking desperate now. It looks like Spock has just remembered something. He's patting his sides, and yes, he found his phaser. This could be good. Oh my Wolvie just took a massive blast right to the chest. He's on the ground twitching,...now still,..wait for it, wait for it,...yes he is getting back up. That bonehead Spock only had the phaser set to stun. Wolverine is growling now arms outstretched blades gleaming and is now charging Spock. Whoa Spock has ducked at the last second and come up behind Wolverine with a Vulcan Neck Pinch. But what's this, he must have been hurried, his ring finger is slightly out of position and instead of putting Wolverine to sleep he is sending him into a massive clawing frenzy.
Good, sweet, tiny-handed, baby Jesus that was a lot of blood! How could Spock have missed with the Vulcan-Nerve pinch? Wolverine just annihilated him! Wait for it....There it is what was left of Spock just exploded and Wolverine, true to form, is walking away from it in slow motion lighting yet another stogie...cliche, but classic! And there you have it folks...He led the voting all week, so it should come as no surprise that Wolverine is the winner of the summer blockbuster beatdown! Now if we are lucky he will go slaughter everyone over at skynet and save humanity... 
Mother Fucker should have come as Sylar, biatch!
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